I’m a mom who’s struggling with feelings of envy towards other parents. It seems like everyone else has it all together while I’m barely keeping my head above water. How do I cope with these feelings of inadequacy and find contentment in my own parenting journey?
-Elysia
This is a tough one. What’s the saying? Envy is the thief of joy. There is a lot of truth to that. I also feel envious, sometimes it is about money. Sometimes it’s about body size (Even though I am all about body positivity, it is easier said than done.) It can be about talents etc.
I am going to divide your Q into two parts. One is that you have envy, and two you are barely keeping your head above water. I will start with the second part first, when you are barely keeping your head above water it is very hard to self regulate and be logical because you are so busy surviving. So give yourself grace. You are trying your best. However you need to find a way to not be treading water. What is it in your life that keeps you in the deep end? Is it your job, not enough household support? How long are your circumstances going to be that way? Find an out so you can swim to the wall instead of treading. It will be a lot easier to cope and find contentment then.
Second part is envy, once you are regulated, what are you envious about?
First of all, very few people have it together. Secondly, something to help with jealousy is to start giving. It seems like an oxymoron right? However the opposite of envy is gratitude. (Maybe not, but it sure is the antidote.) Start giving, and it doesn’t have to be much. It can be dropping off cans of food at a food bank, or engaging on a social media post from a charity to help their social media. As you start to give where others lack, you may see the gratitude in your own life.
Lastly, I am a massive advocate for therapy. Find a great therapist covered by your health insurance, unless finances are not an issue.
Betterhelp is an online therapy service, I can’t vouch for how good their therapists are, but it’s a start if getting an in person therapist seems so overwhelming.
Good Luck!
Do any moms have some anonymous advice for Elysia*
*All names are changed